


Navigating

by cheryl123sing



Category: Whitechapel (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:47:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29593017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheryl123sing/pseuds/cheryl123sing
Summary: Joe doesn't know who he is, but it's time for him to figure it out.
Relationships: Joseph Chandler & Emerson Kent, Joseph Chandler/Emerson Kent
Kudos: 18





	Navigating

The man with the dark curls was bent over the tea supplies, using a bit more concentration than was strictly necessary on the routine task of pouring himself a drink. Mansell came up beside him, and their whispered conversation put an annoyed look on the young man's delicate features.

The DI observed him from just inside the doorway to his office. File in hand, Joe had been on his way out to the incident room to speak with Miles, but the sight of his DC made him freeze in his tracks. The way his pants clung to his hips. The waistcoat, so flattering on him, and replacing the jeans and hoodies of the early days of their acquaintance. When Joe had first come to Whitechapel, Kent had been the only officer on his team to take his insistence of professional dress to heart. While the others put on their ties to humour their new boss, DC Kent bought a suit, and slowly evolved into the sharp man now standing with his back turned to Joe.

His physical appearance was only one of Kent's appealing qualities. He was kind to Joe. He always had been. In a world filled with people who were rarely kind to him, Kent had been, consistently, from the start. How often had he relived that first day in his mind? The day when Kent had given him the chalk when everyone else was content to just sit there and quietly ridicule him. Had the other officers made fun of Kent for that later? Had Kent, the youngest officer on the team, the one who needed to work harder than anyone to fit in with the others, put himself in the line of ridicule for the sake of kindness to his new boss?

How many other good qualities did he possess? Kent was a good officer. Loyal. Ambitious. Eager to learn. Of course, Joe had noticed Kent taking notes when Joe had shared his ideas about the Ripper copy-cat. Everyone else had thought Joe was mad, but Kent had listened carefully and he'd _taken notes._ Joe would never forget the expression on the young man's face. The slight smile, the subtle nod. He had been the only one there who was not hell-bent on seeing Joe fail.

As Joe was deep in his thoughts, eyes glued on his form, Kent picked up his tea and moved back to his desk, sitting down. Joe's eyes followed the young man as he started tapping away at his keyboard. He watched for longer than was appropriate, file forgotten in his hand, but his eyes refused to move away. _This man._

The office chair creaked as Kent stopped typing and reclined a little, blowing lightly on his tea and taking a sip. Joe felt a swoop in his stomach, and grabbed the frame of the door, trying to ground himself. _This feeling._ It had crept up on him with increasing regularity lately. For a long while, actually. Joe hadn't noted the exact date this strange phenomenon had started, but it must have been close to a year ago. It was quickly escalating out of control.

"I think we need to look at Cooper, Boss." Joe hadn't even heard Miles coming, but now that he was speaking, every instinct Joe had was telling him to look at his sergeant, to acknowledge his presence, but his eyes refused to abandon their task of carefully adoring the young DC across the room.

Miles waited for a response, then tried again when it was obvious that one was not forthcoming. "Boss?"

Apparently, Joe's vocal cords had lost their way, as well. He couldn't speak. He was standing on a cliff above the waves, and he couldn't save himself. He continued to stare.

"Hey," Miles said. He touched Joe's arm lightly, and the DI didn't even flinch at the contact, so absorbed was he. "Are you OK? You're not falling off the deep end, are you?"

That brought Joe out of it, but only slightly. The wires between his brain and his mouth seemed to be disconnected.

"I love him," Joe whispered, as he continued to stare at the object of his affection. The heat rushed from his chest, up his neck, and coloured his face. "I love him. _I'm in love with him."_

Miles followed his friend's gaze, and came to rest on the form of Emerson Kent. He quickly looked back at Joe, hesitated, and said, "You should tell him, then."

Joe finally managed to tear his eyes away, and looked at Miles. "I can't!" It came out harshly, causing Riley and Mansell to both look up. Miles pulled him farther into the office and closed the door.

Miles sighed. "Look, if you're worried about the gay thing, I've told you we don't care. Nobody here is going to judge-"

"I'm not gay!" Joe said.

"You just told me that you're in love with a man," Miles said. "What do you call that?"

Joe sighed, and grabbed for the tiger balm on his desk. He said nothing while he unscrewed the lid and applied a small amount to his temples. The circular movement of his fingers was always soothing, routine, familiar. A comfort for him, in a life where he was no longer sure who he was.

"Look," Joe said. "I have never thought of myself as gay. I've never been... never been... attracted... to a man before. This is... new."

"So, you're bisexual, then? It's still not a problem for the team, I promise."

"I'm trying to figure out how to navigate this, and I'm not comfortable with the labels. Can you just... respect that?" Joe didn't mean to sound so harsh, didn't like to shout at his friend, who was only trying to be supportive. And besides, Joe had been the one to raise the question of his sexuality this time, so how could be angry with Miles for asking questions?

Miles held up his hands in a surrendering gesture. "Sorry," he said. "I guess it's not important to come up with a word for it, but if you're feeling some sort of... attachment... if something about Kent resonates with you... I think you should tell him."

"It's out of the question," Joe said. "I'm his DI. It wouldn't be appropriate."

Miles snorted. "Says who? Do you know how many of the senior officers around here are up the skirts of their juniors? You'd just be one of the bunch."

"I know that, Miles," Joe said. "I'm not completely ignorant of the realities of the world. But that's not... it's not me. It's not the type of DI I am. I can't put him in the position having to fend-off the advances of his boss."

"Fend off! You've got to be kidding! The boy loves you, too."

Joe froze, a wave of heat radiating through his body, starting at the top of his head and ending in his toes. "What makes you say that?"

Miles laughed right out loud. "I have eyes. So does everyone else here. You seem to be the only one who has missed it. If you'd just stop being an idiot and ask that boy out for a drink, he'll think he's won the bloody lottery. He's been mad about you since the day you walked in here."

Joe said nothing. His eyes drifted back to Kent's back, and he stood there for a long time, the wheels in his head almost audibly turning. Finally, Miles patted his arm again, opened the door, and returned to his desk, leaving Joe with his thoughts.

Miles sat down, forced himself to look at his computer screen for a few minutes, then turned back to where his boss stood in the doorway to his office. Joe's eyes were still fixed on Emerson. An eternity seemed to pass. Then he looked briefly at Miles, and they made eye contact.

"Kent," Joe said, finally. "Can I see you in my office for a moment?"


End file.
